I couldn't find inspiration in the topics that MamaKat had outlined today, so I am creating my own. Call it marching to the beat of my own drum, call it childish insolence, whatever. I call this topic, "how to find a private moment with your best friend."1. Location - selecting your environment is crucial. Pick a location that will allow for noise, but also will allow you the time needed to move through all the steps without interruption. I prefer the kitchen which has quick access to a deep trash can, and allows me a field of vision that will alert me to intruders. But certainly the privacy of your car works as well.2. Variety and Quantity - This is personal preference, and certainly the … [Read more...]

I first kissed a girl in 1984. Not the book, the year. True to some Orwellian prophecy however, people watched me do it, and I was confused and terrified the entire time.Now you must understand, I had kissed girls before. A couple of Barbies will attest to the fact that I had normal male urges...I simply lacked supporting actresses. Being a somewhat sheltered teenage boy and the little brother to a hellcat older sister, I had not yet seen much action, clearly.Always husky and pimple-ridden, my high school experience in Holland had been a 3 year collection of sub-par sports performances, grades only good enough to keep me out of a special education program, quite a bit of Southern Comfort and … [Read more...]

Tonight I sat reading one of my fav authors (BarefootFoodie) describe the festering cesspool that is her yard. And as I later raised my head from the toilet bowl and regained the strength to return to my bloggy addiction, I was reminded of a story of my youth. It came back to me like a freight, gliding solidly through the bong resin clinging to a long forgotten cortex, the cobweb-ridden recesses of my youth-brain.The story of the King Poopie.My older, and wholly not wiser sister and I huddled in a tent on a camping trip in Western Canada (where most nightmares originate), and she brought me up to speed on a gastrointestinal legend she felt the need to mentor me on...A colo-rectal Yoda, and … [Read more...]