got a bit overwhelmed by the crowd, freaked out, ran into a bathroom, and now I don't really want to leave…so nice and quiet in here, and fairly clean if you overlook whatever happened in stall 2…

if anyone is in the area, can you come help me out of here? I've attached a picture so you can identify which one… just knock 3 times, then once, and I'll let you in…id really appreciate it.

One of my wifes friends just said that she may not like the swiffer refills.

Whatever.

She's a moron, clearly doesn't understand what my wife loves, and therefore has zero credibility. Pretty sure I'm still gold.

Regardless, stopping for my once a year visit to the mall. No way this ends well.

Just stopped home to drop off some gifts before heading back out, only to discover the best search that landed on my blog by far…

“Pharmaceutical rep whores”

I cant get over feeling like I just got a massive compliment. Now if I can just have some of the sex that this person is sure I am getting…and money, for that matter.

A quick stop to grab a pickmeup Frosty to maintain the energy level. HOLD IT!!! i'll grab her a $2 gift card here for a frosty and that can be her stocking stuffer!!

It is like the hand of God is upon me this day. I just feel like I'm spoiling the girl now.

I can already hear my wife on Christmas morning…

"Kids? Can you please go upstairs to play by yourselves? Mommy desperately needs to pleasure Daddy."

Shopping has never been easier. I have been blessed this day.

ok…Walmart was a bust, but just hit the jackpot at Target…found an iron on clearance and got her refills for her swiffer sweeper…she is gonna FLIP. T minus 2 days to HERO status.