This is what happens when a hyper-sarcastic BS artist marries a nurse. From time to time I will try to share some of our bedroom banter, as it tends to defy all laws of space, time, and common sense.
7:30am, our bed.
Nurse: OMG I slept so bad. I was so hot, I had to get up and turn on the air.
Moron: (looks up to see the fan turning) You mean the fan?
Nurse: Whatever. (We’ll cover word selection in a coming post)
Moron: I slept like ass too…late night pizza always means nightmares.
Nurse: What did you dream about?
Moron: Not a dream, a nightmare.
Nurse: About what?
Moron: About me having neuroblastoma.
Nurse: Oh.
(silence)
Nurse: What were your symptoms?
Moron: Um, just one symptom. That the doctor told me I had neuroblastoma.
Nurse: Oh. Ok.
I’m pretty sure we’re the sexiest couple I know.
{ 37 comments… read them below or add one }
That was HAWT… :::fans self:::
Funny! About as interesting as our bedtime conversations too!
we don’t even speak in the bedroom. no form of communication whatsoever until after the first cup of coffee.
LOL. A certain someone around this crib is pre, pari whatever, menopausal so it is 34 outside and the freaking deck door is open at night so she can fight the hot flashes. I snuggle next to the fireplace for fear of frostbite.I can’t wait to hear your thoughts on the reply “whatever”. One our homes most used phrases. Time for bike ride.
Yep, I think we could give you a run for your money on sexiest couple. Our bedroom banter is incredibly similar. But I am with Deb- no morning banter until coffee please. Its bad enough I have to talk to the kids…
Pillow talk at its best!
*fanning myself* That is the best porn I’ve heard in a long time.
If I had known (or remembered) you were married to a nurse, I’d have had more respect for you from the beginning.
Hawt post. Sounds like my house. My hubby has nightmares that his teeth fall out.
At least you guys talk in the bedroom. Most couples dont!
wOW… you really rock the pillow talk huh?
{{fanning myself}}} from all the hotness!
That was so hawt, I think I’m gonna go take a cold shower..
Sounds as steamy as what goes on in our bedroom every night.
Well see, my Hubby is a hypochondriac so we have these types of bedtime discussions… he will say ” tonights the big one… might crap out tonight” almost weekly! Too friggin hilarious
HAWT.
Are you sure you had your symptoms right?
Man, that is hot! LOL!
My contest can really help that bedroom conversation! http://www.themomreviews.com/2009/03/eden-fantasys-giveaway.html
haha, yes, you guys are so like us. I talked about bringing sexy back with coupons the other day. Yeah, I said it. COUPONS. Hot, huh?
ya’all are nuts! so funny…kinda reminds me of this house, but we have two engineers that can over anaylyze a string.
You’ve got it going on!
There’s a porn in there somewhere because that is some hot bedroom drama…
That’s so funny! I’ve got more posts of your to get caught up on – I haven’t had much time to read my favorite blogs lately.
You are so funny!!
Were you wearing socks? Because you know what socks mean…
Just some guy talk and stuff.
HAHAHAHAHA! Whatevs, medical terminology is ALWAYS a turn on in our bedroom!
ROFL!
Oooooh…I love me some witty sexy bedroom talk! Grrrrrrrrr…..
And I have the same problem with “word substitution” as your wife — “AC” when I meant fan, “trash” when I meant “disposer,” “I love you” when I meant “You bother the hell out of me.” It is a problem.
I came over from my friend, Ally @ Waiting for Rain! I LOVE this post, so familiar! LOL! I will be back.
I had no idea there were so many Dallas bloggers…well, how would I?
Great blog!
Definitly not the sexiest conversation to be had… But its funny how your thoughts throughout the day make their way into your dreams.
sexiest morning bedroom words ever:
“coffee” (as in “here my darling is a giant mug of industrial strength caffiene just for you”)
That was an awesome post! My hubby has the same pet name! (well, that and ‘jackass’) lol. Love the dog in the bed
lol! I’m not sure it gets much more racy in my bedroom!
LOL. Great symptoms.
Awesome of you to shave your head too. Big thumbs up!
Not that we have anything that is sacred, but I always pause when I want to discuss those things we laugh about in bed— mostly because we both are punchy and come up with the strangest things. So, I'm with you and fully understand the conversation.
dude, i hope thats a dog between you…if not one of you has a major problem!! lol
btw that post was sexy as hell!!
Jesus that seriously made me laugh.
“Um, just one symptom. The doctor told me I had neuroblastoma.”
Classic.
Sounds like the conversations we have. Last night his leg was in the way, and I couldn’t see Family Guy for the 10th time. So I sprayed him with the water bottle I save for the puppy.
OMG that sounds like something my husband and I would talk about. He has this thing– and don’t let your wife read this is he doesn’t already do it– where every little pain or pimple he will tell me it’s such and such a disease. I will simply an example: “Oh man, I have a headache, it must be a brain tumor”. Then he’ll laugh and laugh. At least you are fairly familiar with medical jargon. BAHAHAHAHA
Thank you, that was so funny!