First off, just wanted to thank you all again for an absolute outpouring of emails and support, you really know how to love on a fellow. And as I said, dont go taking me off your readers, I’ll be back. I may have to throw up a post now and again anyway to simply keep my BlogHer sidebar active…hope they dont go dumping me…

Just wanted to let you all know that Tuesday’s Tribute will reside at Seven Clown Circus from now on, under the watchful loving eye of my friend Angie. Really proud to call her that…Not in a weird, stalky way…whatever… I encourage those of who have loved doing the tribute thing to continue with her…she really is great people. She should have a new button and info up for you in the next couple of days.

And lastly, in general, have fun. That’s what all this is supposed to be about.

Back soon,

After a number of months of doing this, I feel like many of you know me very well at this point. The part of my personality you havent been privy to is the one that seems to always get me into trouble.

For whatever reason, I’m a guy who seems to create trouble in relationships that I really enjoy. I don’t really know what the reason is, and I am not so misguided that I just think that these things are ALL my fault, but I think that other people do a far better job of avoiding these land mines than I do. Im WAY too sensitive, WAY too controlling, WAAAAY too proud, and WAY too emotional. It could be the reason is that I like to confront things head on, assess blame (even when involves assessing blame to myself), find a solution, and try not to let it happen again. Maybe that is the ultimate proof that I am, in fact, male. But to take it back to the theme of my blog, it is quite possible I have some big life lessons yet to learn.

Im not going to be blogging for a while. Some things have happened lately, nothing to do with any of you, but kind of emotional stuff with a couple of friends that are making it increasingly hard for me to be here, and be happy about it. I wont be posting about any of the mess, unless I find myself in a position of having to defend myself. Otherwise, I am not into airing dirty blog laundry.

So I am backing away from it, and I hope to come back. I dont really know when, or if, but I hope this feeling goes away so I can enjoy this again.

I am in the process of moving Tuesday’s Tribute to new ownership, and I will leave more on that soon when I work out the details. I will always be available on email, and will be reading you still, and sometimes maybe a comment if I cant contain myself.

Thanks for sharing space and time with me. I hope to be back.

Fondly,

Thanks again to Angie
for another ragin’ Wordful Wednesday…”

Also Thanks to 5 Minutes for Mom for “Wordless” Wednesday…I always have such a problem being wordless…

I am all too often reminded to be a positive example for my kids. In fact, if my wife wasn’t a great balance for me, I would probably still be making some of the irrational and thoughtless decisions of my youth…meaning through my early thirties.

But in addition to having a positive male influence in your life, I am here today to share why having a negative role model has its value as well.

A number of years ago my mother made the decision to leave my “father” after 24 years of marriage. While I refer to him as my father, I must point out that he was actually my step-father, but had been around for the majority of my life.

He wasn’t my biological father, but he was my Dad.

When my mom left, he took it pretty hard. He was not built to be alone, and didnt do it well. The house quickly fell into a state of disarray, and though he wasnt a man who was capable of admitting being in a state of depression, he was clearly there. It was no surprise when he started dating soon thereafter, but a bit concerning when he announced that he would be getting married again to a woman he had only met 3 weeks prior.

Well that woman, of course, turned out to be a psychopath. And long story long, she drove an incredible wedge between my Dad and my wife and I. Finally, this woman persuaded him that we were only loyal to my mother and her new husband, we were trying to ruin her marriage with my Dad, and ultimately persuaded him to cut off all ties with us. Not with my brother and sister of whom he was the true biological father, just his ex-wife’s kid.

So after almost 3 decades, “Dad” became “my ex”.

How do you put yourself in a place to be a child’s father for the bulk of his life, and then just decide to walk away rather than face the hard times? Were you that scared of being alone again that you traded a son for a woman you knew to be trouble?

Any positive lesson you taught me is now suspect. Every decent thing I ever saw you do is now marred by your ultimate weakness and irresponsibility. And your legacy is that you are the biological father of two kids who are scared to tell you what they really think of you and your wife, for fear you will disown them. Nice work.

This week’s Tribute is to an unbelievable coward. Clearly I carry some pain and bitterness, I know this. But in the end, I also have to thank you for what you did. For it is one thing to teach positive lessons, but to be a living example of what I will NEVER do to my kids is invaluable.

This Tribute is to you, “Dad”. I only ever wanted you to be happy again.

Too often I get caught up in all the yelling, fights, fits and complaining. It takes a camera and good archiving discipline to remind me what is getting shoved aside…the reason I became a Daddy.

I catch us complaining quite a bit, and it is WAY too easy to forget that others aren’t as fortunate, or have significant tragedies. So as I thought about my brother and his family tonight who are dealing with an aggressive son, or the families who can’t have kids, or the family who just lost a baby, I am reminded. To be thankful. To sit in front of my pictures, and find my favorites. To remind myself what is important, and what isn’t. To know what is small, and what is big. And to once again remind myself that it could all be gone in an instant, and how important it is to leave everything on the field.

And tomorrow, hug them as tight as the law will allow. And start again.

First off, I gotta thank you all for supporting me at Hot Dads yesterday. You came over in force, and dropped a Comment Bomb on them the likes of which they hadn’t seen yet, and I love you for it. I’ve talked to a few of you about the whole Hot Dads thing, and I appreciated your candor regarding their content. Yes, I too find some of the posts a bit…graphic…and I hope to keep posting for them, unless the content gets too…graphic…That stuff isnt really me, as you know, and my wife keeps my blogging on a short leash. If she thinks that I am on here writing porn, it’s game over, baby. So I hope to be one of the relatively clean Daddys over there. With the occasional F Bomb…or two…

Speaking of bad ideas, I went to New Orleans yesterday for a quick overnighter for work. I know I didn’t say anything, I didnt want Jill Jill putting a rabbit on my wife’s stove while I was gone. So I am getting to the Tuesday Tributes as quick as I can…tonight if I can stay awake.

Seriously bad idea, drinking with co-workers. Especially if you are doing it on Bourbon Street after an airplane landing that included clutching the overhead compartment, and an afternoon of nailbiting bloody corporate layoffs.

But a seriously fun group…

Three vodkas and nine olives on the way to dinner. Warning bells.

I had a fantastic ribeye, and then washed it down with a pony keg of red wine, and this tort.

I then proceeded to lick the plate clean in front of a stunned restaurant. Yes, I’m from out of town, and they don’t have chocolate in Texas.

Learned something new about the French. Their after-dinner-apertifs are rather large, and taste like rancid Hawaiian Punch. And there’s a lot of them.

And learned something new about photography…no matter how good your camera, one drunk moron has every remaining shot out of focus.

So tonight I am back, and still mercifully employed. Until I hit “publish”.

Thanks again to Angie
for another ragin’ Wordful Wednesday…”

Also Thanks to 5 Minutes for Mom for “Wordless” Wednesday…I always have such a problem being wordless…