oh wow…The Keynote was amazing. Some of my fav bloggers, some big laughs and BIG tears.

Finally got my cell camera uploading again, internet has been problematic today.

Off to South Bend for the night, kinda bummed to miss a couple of big events, but I promised the missus, and my friends will totally narc on me.

More details tomorrow…wish you were here!!

Ok, I just saw what I hope is the weirdest thing about this weekend…2 sweet looking little bloggers were standing outside the presentation room having a full blown argument. Like, ANGRY argument. The reigned it in as I walked by, so I couldn't hear the details, but it was clear that things were…testy…AWKWARD!!!

I thought this was supposed to be a happy place?! Lighten up, ladies!! Clearly I'm not pissing anyone off enough yet to warrant being pulled into the hall…

The wife just called to say that unless I bring home some good swag, I can make plans to live somewhere new next week.

I have never seen so many women…trying desperately to find LiteralDan in all this mess so we can huddle shaking in a corner somewhere.

More pics coming…stay tuned!

After dinner and a quick call home I headed over to my first bash at 704… I keep telling myself I am making it back to Julie's tonight, but that may take an understnding cabbie at this point. OMG I love blogging… It's gonna be an early morning…

Ok…so here is how I am gonna do this. I am gonna try to update this same post as much as I can over the next few days, or as much as my cellphone, little Asus Eee and sporadic internet connections will allow. And sorry for any formatting problems you see…this isn’t always easy to do on the fly!! So check back directly to this post for updates. Hope you enjoy the action!!

(Latest updates will be at the top of the post)

Meet Julie, my wife’s friend who has been kind enough to stand guard over put me up at her place while I am in Chitown. She has been giving me shit about being a male blogger for the better part of an hour, and appears to be unaffected by my Sex Panther cologne.

She may be quick with a blade…

But she folded like a pansy when I fought back.

And when the salsa came out, she ran like a little girl. I may be a Daddy blogger, but I can take the Central American heat, o prissy one.

This time there is nothing questionable on the seat, but a lingering…aroma…is disturbing an otherwise enjoyable ride with my new friend…um…sorry, I have no idea what his name is. I didn’t catch it…twice…it seemed to be missing any and all vowels.

Ok…this is getting very real now, and I am starting to wonder what I am doing coming to hang out with this many women…Maybe I’ll make myself an “I am not a Perv” sign to hang around my neck tomorrow. On second thought, why limit my action? Sorry honey, just kidding.

I mean, I could cry from the sheer beauty of it. I finally get to spend time in a toy store without screaming “If I have to drag your asses outside I’m gonna knock your heads together!!” At least, I will be in this Mecca of fun until the employees start to look at the creepy guy in the toy store with no kids. Back soon. I wont be taking pictures in here. I mean, I DO have SOME common sense.

Oh blissful sanctuary thy name is Starbucks. Found a bellman to watch my fine selection of BlogHer apparel for the afternoon so I can cruise around and piss off some passers-by. OMFG I’m in Chicago!!!! That’s the one thing I’ve missed about traveling, is the exploring…if I can just keep the clouds from dumping on my spelunking this afternoon, this might be a nice little day.

I wonder how many of these I could stuff in my cargo shorts before I start to look…suspicious…

OhmysweetbabyJesus this is the most disgusting cab I have ever been in. Ever. Ever. EVER. There is something on the seat, and I have absolutely no idea what it is. I am at a loss for words, and feel faint.

So first problem with a last minute trip is that flights are scarce and expensive, so I had to get up at 2am to HOPE to catch a redeye, which now has me standing here in O’Hare amongst construction and dazed travelers in search of my first Starbucks of the trip. Hopefully first of many.

Next problem is that the friend of my wife’s that I am staying with doesn’t know I am already here, and is at work…which now leaves me with nowhere to go, with luggage, and nowhere to lay my weary dumbass head. Optimistic though. AND FUCKING EXCITED!!! (and nervous). So…gonna try to find a willing ($$$) bellhop, and hopefully go hit the Magnificent Mile. And another Starbucks.

COPYRIGHT HALFTIME LESSONS 2008, 2009
All rights reserved. This content may not be reproduced or transmitted in any form, by any means, without the prior written permis
sion of the author.

Sorry to drop a bomb like that and run, but there has been a lot to do this morning…so let me bring you up to speed.

My wife knows how much I love the Blogging world, and writing, but SERIOUSLY drew the line at letting me go party with 1500 women in a hotel for a weekend. And as we have been mapping out travel plans for the year, BlogHer has always been at the back of my mind. Nagging.

So when my wife’s best friend had a baby a while back, she started making plans to go visit them…by herself…with daddy home babysitting for the weekend. And thus began what I refer to now as “Guiltgate”.

Now here is the part of the story I can’t get into too much detail on…how I will be getting in. See, like all of you, I have made great friends in the Blog world, and some of those friends have offered to help me attend a sold out BlogHer ‘09 conference. Yes, I will be paying, btw, and that is all I can say.

So as my blushing bride and I sat to discuss last night, again the topic came up. And again I pushed as hard as I could without having to scour the yellow pages for daddy-friendly divorce lawyers.

And then…SHE SAID YES!!!!

only…with conditions.

Condition #1. I’m not allowed to have sex with anyone except myself.

Condition #2. I have to stay with her friend who lives in Chicago. This was a tough one for me, but I understand that doing so will give her some comfort. So dammit, but ok.

Condition #3. I have to call her fucking constantly.

Condition #4. I have to go see family friends who live close to Notre Dame, and that will cut into some of the things I want to attend, but again, so be it.

Condition #5. I have to owe her a lot. For a long time. This one is subjective, so I may be able to get around it as soon as I get back.

Anyway…I AM GOING!!

Now before any of you crazy broads ask, I am not giving out my travel details…another condition of my wife’s because she firmly believes you all to be sex starved internet loonies.

But I hope to lay eyes on you at some point!! I should be easy to spot…I’ll be the BlogHIM.

COPYRIGHT HALFTIME LESSONS 2008, 2009
All rights reserved. This content may not be reproduced or transmitted in any form, by any means, without the prior written permission of the author.