There are a grand total of ZERO circumstances that make chicken chili at 2am a good idea. Great people, a lot of laughs, too much to drink, and a terrible showing of impulse control with a spoon led to a painful following day, so please accept this tip as gospel.

I’m gonna be tied up for the next couple of weeks, if you care. In our industry, when you start carrying a new drug, or in my case, when you keep your job and have to re-learn your drug for the THIRD time, the company sends you some brief night table reading. Then they put you in front of a firing squad and ask you to recite it word for word. And THEN, they pull you away from your family, test you on your ability to recount all of that data to a healthcare professional, all the while holding your family’s financial well-being and food for your children as incentive for you to get a score of 90% or better.

It’s all fairly low stress, and positive.

As you can maybe imagine, the chicken chili had less of an impact on my tract than the next couple of weeks will. The upside is that the amount of vomiting and shaking the next weeks will bring will be fantastic for weight loss. If I am strangely quiet it is because I may be focused on other things.

Although, some would argue that some quiet from me may be a good thing. I call those people “my wife and kids”.

Fair warning, this will not be the place for a laugh tonight. Just need to write some things down so I can try to put this day behind me, if that’s remotely possible.

Today I narrowly avoided becoming one of the thousands of Pharmaceutical Representatives that have been, and continue to be laid off. It has been going on for years, and one could argue, as I have, that we created this mess ourselves. And today, my company reduced the salesforce that I have been a part of by half, or better.

I’m sitting here tonight shellshocked, sad, with even other emotions I can’t seem to find titles for. After having worked here for five years, I developed a tighter bond with this family of co-workers than I had at any other company I have worked for past. And today, most of those friends were shown the door despite years of outstanding achievements, and I was kept along with few others for reasons that I may never be able to fully explain.

I remember the inner panic and financial devastation of being unemployed, I have been there myself. I also remember the feeling of boundless elation when I got this position, saving my young family from ruin. And tonight, I know I should be grateful for what amounts to a promotion, but the empathy I feel for these people I consider to be dear friends chokes away any feeling of happiness.

I know they will all be fine. They are fully capable and talented people with futures that remain bright. And tomorrow I will get up and embrace my own opportunities while they go in search of the window that just opened somewhere.

Tonight, I am grateful. And for them, I am hopeful. I hope they know how much I will miss them at work, but also how happy I am knowing that our friendship doesn’t need an employer to hold us together.

Welcome. Back.

I’ve been meaning to do this for a long time. Leave Blogger, get a new look, do things kind of differently. I had some of the usual fears…losing readers by moving to WordPress, learning a whole new platform, etc. But in the end, I had some ideas about how I wanted to do all of this online thing that mattered more than that stuff.

My wife quickly pointed out to me that she could barely tell the difference from my old layout…sigh…clearly she spends a lot of time reading me.

I’ll be doing some other things differently. You may not even notice, I’m just glad you came along. But I am opening up my blog from now on to a group of people in my life that didn’t know I did this stuff, and I may be throwing myself in front of the bus in the process. But considering the turmoil that some other parts of my life are in right now, encouraging some family and friends into the recesses of my twisted mind seems fairly tame. So, in short, my time of dancing for the anonymous is coming to an end today. I’m gonna try not to get all guarded in the process, but if I look like I am pulling punches, don’t be afraid to call my pansy ass out.

One more thing for the bloggers out there… There’s something big coming.

I can’t get into any kind of specifics yet, but I hope that each of you who wish to be affected by it get from it what you want. I know I’m being cryptic, that’s all I’m allowed to do right now.

Just stay tuned.

To my new readers, be kind. I’m a vulnerable little bitch right now.

And those of you who have…thanks for sticking with me.

I was in love once.

A crazy, reckless love that proved to be a blissfully emotional time in my life. She was spicy, fulfilling, and she made me feel like I was the only one in the world for her.

And then one day, quite suddenly, she was gone. Her name was Burrito Zacatecas, and she disappeared. Her parents who owned a little Mexican restaurant in Bartonville moved away, you see, and she would never be mine again. The day I discovered that she was gone I sat and cried in the parking lot for far too long…until my wife and kids urged me to continue our search for dinner. And amidst my tears, I silently guided the car away from that place.

I feared I would never find another.

Days turned to months, and my silent desperation began to shake the foundation of every other relationship I had. I began to make mistakes with the wrong places, and plates. A combination dinner here, a drive-thru there. Every order was compared to her, and woefully discarded.

Then one evening, I took the family to Agave Tex Mex Grill in Flower Mound, TX, ordered a margarita, and dropped my head to the cold table in anticipation of another mealtime mistake. The menu was handed to me, and my eyes quickly made my way down the page searching, always searching. And then, on the Specials Menu, I saw her.

The Big Burrito.

I was tempted to avoid another disappointment and move on, and then I began to read more. Stuffed with beans, pico, my choice of meats, cheese…Panini Style? And…with…Avocado Cream Sauce?

I…I…I love Avocado.

When my new BFF returned to take our order, I quickly told him my needs, and then hurried him through the orders for my family. A Taco? Um, yes, whatever honey, just hurry please.

And I began to tap my foot in anticipation…but not for long, as the wonderful folks at Agave must have sensed my desperation. And then as in a dream,

there she was.

My dear friends and appreciateurs of Mexican cuisine, this is where my review of Agave’s Big Burrito will fall to pieces. You see, I am not a food critic. I am just a man. A man who thought I would never find love again. And yet, I have. And I now wonder if my beloved Burrito Zacatecas was ever that good, because My Big Burrito is the stuff of dreams, and won’t be compared to mortal food.

She is, quite simply…Glorious.

My only advice, order soon, and order often. My love is on the Specials Menu, and Agave’s wonderful manager informed me that she will be made a regular menu item if enough interest is shown. This is where you come in, my friends, and this is a meal I don’t mind sharing. I won’t turn this into a political rant, I promise you, but The Big Burrito is one dish I wouldn’t mind being turned into a National Entitlement Program. Please vote. Soon.

My apologies for the beauty shot. I had a hard time stopping eating to take the picture.