Another excerpt from our bedroom is in order today…my wife broke the relationship-shattering news this morning.
What was vivid, she went on to explain, was that I had done it. According to her, I had been with a woman named Jennifer. She had a dream, and when she awoke, I was informed that I had been cheating on her.
“It was so vivid”, she said. “So real”.
I said, suddenly excited about the detail of my indiscretion, “Well, was I any good?”
“I didnt see any of that.”
“Uh…well, was she hot?”
“I didn’t see her face.”
And yet, so vivid.
Now, aside from the fact that I know quite a few Jennifers, and many are cute, today I return to something I believe in wholeheartedly.
There are people who can, and people who can’t. I have heard people say that they believe that everyone is capable of going outside their marriage, and I don’t believe it for a minute. Sure I know guys that could, some who have, and some I predict very well might, but I also know a fair number who absolutely aren’t built that way.
Me, I’m the guy who’s a bit of a flirt. I love women, and like their company as much as I like hangin’ with the daddys. In fact, more often than not I’m a guy who has more to talk about with the ladies, because they like to talk about more than sports, which if you recall, I know nothing about. But I have zero interest in looking for an extracurricular piece.
I’ve got my hands full at home with a feisty 5 year old, and it won’t help her in the least to have a part-time father. Not to mention, I love my wife. And if she ever caught me messing around, modern science couldn’t measure how fast she would grab my kids and run.
But this morning I’d simply like to thank my wife for having a dream that didn’t take the fact that I was home with the kids for granted. Maybe it’ll make me a bit dangerous in her mind, and add a spicy new act to our marital play.
Then again, maybe she’ll just realize that her dream was an exaggeration of the truth, which is that I really AM cheating on her. Every night when we are bathing the kids and I say, “Oops, be right back”, I am actually running downstairs to stuff my face with Halloween candy.
MAN, it feels good to tell the truth.
During my entire first pregnancy I had that same dream your wife had (starring my husband of course), over and over and over.
Her name was Stacy though.
It still sucked. Nothing like that feeling to make you appreciate what you have, without the actual fall out
Happy Thanksgiving to your little household!! It’s been a rough couple of weeks with Hubs’ grandmother, so I get to entertain my three boys, my FIL and my BIL for Thanksgiving dinner.
Pilgrims liked pizza and beer too, right?
Well, atleast she told you about her dream!! I am still laughing about the Halloween candy!!! Yep, I too am having an affair with a snickers!!!
Isn’t there a Friends episode about this? If not, there should be.
LOL@the halloween candy!!
My husband is a tad worried about my inappropriate need to see New Moon again…and that kid is only 17. Maybe he’s worried I’ll get put in jail and we don’t have the money for bail…would serve me right I guess.
Have a wonderful Turkey day with your family!
My husband has been known to give me the silent treatment for a whole day after one of his cheating dreams. They must be extra-specially vivid. I’ve had a few myself. Not pleasant.
P.S. How do I get my pic to show up with my comment?
hahaha i have a very inappropriate relationship with ice cream!!
just can’t get enough…ssshhhhh don’t tell my husband!! 
I had the same sort of dream about my husband a few months ago. It was SO real! I gave him the stink eye when he woke up the morning after my dream. Crazy how real dreams can seem. I was pissed off at him alllll day, and for what?? LOL
Usually I’m the one doing all kinds of horrible things to my wife in her dreams, but last week I had a similar one about her. Are we awful people in our subconsciousness or what?
NOT suffing your face – decluttering! And you sound a lot like my husband. Sometime I wish he’d stop hanging out with my friends!
Haha, I’ve had those dreams before!! Well, not about YOU of course, about MY husband… and I’ve woken up completely feeling all those emotions, it’s crazy. But I know that I’ll never have to experience that in real life… I completely agree with you. It all comes down to decisions, and each small decision leads to a larger one, if we keep the small ones good, we’ll be all set! It was refreshing to hear your take. Enjoy the rest of that candy you have left… I do the same thing!!
LOL.
I never dream about our marriage, but my husband does. ALL. THE. TIME. He dreams that we have these knock-down, drag out arguments . . . and he wakes thinking they are real. I usually end up with roses. So, yeah– I’m not complaining.
Following In My Shoes
Love this. Jennifer of no face. Jeff has dreams about me cheating on him and he isn’t very happy with me in the morning. He knows that I would never, ever but sometimes I wonder if he thinks men are just hanging out on my carpool route just waiting to pick up on the mom with 5 kids. I think not.
I just can’t see it in you Jay. Nor in myself. The fall out is just to high a price. Great post though. Did you save me any reeses?
You know, Cheaters ALWAYS get caught. AND – if she doesn’t spy you down there chompin away at the candy…your waistline will eventually give you away! So, just say NO, J…just say NO!