Let it be said that I have a job that many who don’t know better yearn for, many are scared of, and many, like myself, are scared of losing.

I’m a pharmaceutical rep. Many of you already know this, and hopefully some of you doctors have read me and felt my wrath. I know…like anyone reads me, let alone doctors…sigh…

I don’t talk about my company, or my drug, and the only times in the past I have referenced my profession is when I was so frustrated with certain aspects of it that I chose to lash out. Today, I had something happen that gave me pause, and I wanted to share.

I am a specialty rep, meaning I call on other than Primary Care, and in my case, those professionals are Psychiatrists. And where do the psychiatrists practice? Yep, a collection of private practices, hospitals, and private and government-subsidized clinics. I was in such a clinic today, and although I like to think I am putting on a compelling show when giving a presentation, the real drama occurred as I was simply approaching the building. I mentioned this on Facebook this morning, but as I had hours to stew in the memory of a certain gentleman, I thought I could take a minute and add some detail.

Now, to be fair, I was given some general warnings when I was in training as to what I might encounter in waiting rooms and parking lots, but today put a face on what they were being so deliberately vague about. As I approached the clinic, I noticed that the path to the front door was split in two different directions, and each had individuals sitting alongside. As one side had a number of people sitting, smoking, and watching me approach, I chose the path less traveled, the one that led past the solitary gentleman, as large as he turned out to be.

I had been previously warned, by the way, to keep my samples hidden from view so as to avoid being asked about them by those who a detailed explanation of pharmacokinetics might be lost. Today, as on all days, I remembered this as it made perfect sense to me, and had them secured in my rolling black case.

As I approached the gentleman, I noticed him very slightly lift his gaze in my direction. He was large, larger than his sitting form gave credit to my previous cursory evaluation, and he was solid. As I got closer and his eyes found my face, I realized that there was a telltale look in his eye that seems to be common among those who struggle with normal neurotransmitter function. Whether it was the effect of disease on the general expression of his face, or the pharma effect of his meds that caused him to look so blank, he appeared to look right at me, and yet right through me.

He slurred something that I quickly translated to “You got some drugs with you?”

As I had been instructed to, I simply looked at him, smiled, and said, “No, sorry”, and continued along the path, mere feet from where he was sitting.

As I passed, he rose, far taller than my 6 foot form, looked at me and YELLED, “Somethin’ funny there Sarge??!!”

Pretty sure modern science couldn’t have measured how fast I made it inside the clinic.

I don’t get spooked a lot. I’m not the toughest character you’ll ever meet in a dark alley, and I don’t know shit about sports, but I can handle myself. I’ll just say that I wasn’t particularly scared today, but this gentleman gave me pause in the wake of what just happened at Fort Hood. I further think that life gives you wakeup calls, some with more violent ringers than others, and the prudent person doesn’t keep hitting the snooze bar.

I am more conscious than ever of being respectful of those with mental illness, and my uber-intelligent friend Em has taught me how devastatingly insensitive the “r” word can be, so I hope that if any of you ever catch me two-facing those topics you will reward me with an email-slap. Not to mention, I have a 5 year old and a 2 year old. I am in NO position to judge anyone’s mental health.

So these days as I get used to a new gig in new geography, I plan on keeping today’s safety-nod on my frontbrain, and I recommend to all of you being not scared, but always prudent.

Wishing you all a safe week.