Seriously time to close this piece of s*** year the f*** out. Actually, it wasn't all bad. Some parts were pretty incredible, in fact. But tonight my amazing kids and I will put this dog down with Ginger Ale and an 8pm countdown with people we love. Headed east today with two happy kids towards a new year, and a far better future. Pretty damn optimistic. … [Read more...]

Thanks to my divorce this year, there will be some changes around here. I debated nuking Halftime Lessons altogether, but in the end I decided that the past year offers way too much material to waste. Besides, if the past year isn't a collection of the greatest Halftime Lessons ever, I don't know what would be. Forgive the construction dust, it's gonna take me some time to figure out what I can keep, and what I want to say. If you're not yet a friend of mine on Facebook, you should really join us over there...there's fireworks. Come one come all. Happy New Year. 2011 will be AMAZING. Jay PS - Yes, there was some other stuff I had written here before. I have taken it down, … [Read more...]

My daughter took this photo tonight. She thought it was funny, but I'm in a kitchen panic. I bought this thing today in the hopes of creating sustenance for my two kids that doesn't involve a drive-thru. Being on my own again is breeding laziness, and I don't want my kids growing up thinking that when they are at Daddy's place, dinnertime always involves a car ride. Thanks, by the way, to the creators of this contraption who couldn't spend 2 cents more to use a non-paper label for the front of the thing. I'm gonna leave the label carcass on there just to show those rat bastards they didn't get the better of me...much. Help me, friends. Help me to create sustenance in … [Read more...]

I spent the day trying my hardest to concentrate on important things. Work. Providing for my kids. Helping friends. Only the events of this morning are so troubling to me that my mind has been dragged to a pitch-black pit of confusion for the better part of the day. My son, who we will refer to from now on as Houdini, wanders out of the bedroom in his bone-dry, fully zipped footie pajamas with his bears under one arm, and his blanket in an outstretched hand. "Daddy? I fink dis blanket got some pee pee on it." The smell hit me even before the wet sensation reached the palm of my hand. Dry bed. Dry pajamas. Dry carpet. No bathroom visit. Blanket SOAKED with urine. You win … [Read more...]

As I return to bachelorhood, I feel it necessary to eliminate the drivethru from my diet as much as possible. That's why I found great excitement tonight not only from my foray into microwave indian cuisine, but the indian music gift-with-purchase that rounded out my dining experience. Im guessing Shailesh gets an insane pile of tail. … [Read more...]