My daughter took this photo tonight. She thought it was funny, but I’m in a kitchen panic. I bought this thing today in the hopes of creating sustenance for my two kids that doesn’t involve a drive-thru. Being on my own again is breeding laziness, and I don’t want my kids growing up thinking that when they are at Daddy’s place, dinnertime always involves a car ride.
Thanks, by the way, to the creators of this contraption who couldn’t spend 2 cents more to use a non-paper label for the front of the thing. I’m gonna leave the label carcass on there just to show those rat bastards they didn’t get the better of me…much.
Help me, friends. Help me to create sustenance in this…this…whatever the hell this is.
Your favorite recipes. The less ingredients the better. Remember too that I don’t eat green food. And I have a spice phobia. Ok, I do eat green food, but I’m convinced that it is nature’s joke on us. Like kumquats. And Dan Quayle.
Food. I’m begging.
I’m even going to send some benevolent soul a $10 Starbucks gift card for the easiest and tastiest crock pot recipe left in my comments.
And yes. A 200lb man can starve to death. It could happen.
I’ve got a great recipe for pulled pork burritos. Email me if you want it.
Abbey – YES!! Can you put it in the post comments?
You got it. This is a super easy one!
Chicken taco-ish/tortilla soup:
1 package of chicken breast (I’ve even used it frozen)
2 cans of black beans…undrained.
2 cans of rotel (if you don’t like spicy, just use diced tomatoes)
1 can diced green chiles
1 cup salsa
2 cups frozen corn
1 large can tomato sauce
Cook on high for 6 hours (if frozen chicken, it takes like 8 hours).
Remove the chicken and pull it apart. Then, put it back in.
We serve it with tortilla strips, cheese, sour cream, cilantro and avocado!
Chicken breast. 1 large can diced tomatoes. 1 pkg of MILD taco seasoning. 4 hours.
Once done shred and put in tortillas with toppings you like.
SO. Freakin’ Easy. And yummy too! We have this 2-3 times a month. Kids love it too.
p.s. I’ve missed you. Let me know when you need my address for the Starbucks card…
Come to the tweetup on the 9th. Wife is a pro and will share!
pork butt, bottle of bbq sauce, can of diced pineapples (drained). put them all in the crock pot and cook low for 10 hours or high for 4-6. shred with a fork & serve on rolls or french bread. amazing.
i have tons more on my food blog. all super easy.
(www.MamaLovesFood.com)
This is to die for:
Polish Kraut & Apples
1 14 oz. can sauerkraut, drained
1 lb. Polish sausage or kielbasa (I use Eckridge smoked sausage — it’s the best because it’s skinless) cut into 2 inch pieces
3 medium tart apples, peeled and cut into 8ths
1/8 tsp pepper
3/4 cup apple juice
1/2 cup packed brown sugar
1/2 cup chicken broth
Place 1/2 of sauerkraut into ungreased slow cooker. Top with sausage, apples, brown sugar and pepper. Top with remaining sauerkraut. Pour apple juice and 1/2 cup chicken broth over all. Cover and cook on low 4 – 5 hours. Serve with mashed potatoes.
OK, are you ready to be astonished?? here goes….
6 chicken breasts (seasoned with salt and pepper)
24 oz. apricot preserves
1 envelope of onion soup mix
rice (cooked according to directions on bag or box)
# 1 put chicken in crock
#2 mix other two ingredients together; spread over chicken in crock
#3 cook on low 5-6 hours
#4 serve over hot cooked rice
sounds weird, but it’s mmmm good and it doesn’t get any easier that that my friend!! i can send a self-addressed envelope for the card, if you like
It doesn’t get much easier than this Crock Pot Beef Roast recipe. It’s one of my family’s favorite meals. I love it because it’s simple and little mess!
* 3 -4 lbs beef roast (or Pork roast)
* 1 (2 ounce) envelope onion soup mix
* salt and pepper
* 2 cups water
Just put everything right in the crock pot together. Cook on low for about 6 hours. It’s delicious and makes excellent gravy too.
Deep South BBQ
4-5 pound pork shoulder (butt) roast
2 large onions, sliced AND 1 cup chopped onion
4-5 whole cloves
2 cups water
16 oz. barbecue sauce, your choice of flavor
A package of large split buns
Place half of the sliced onions in the bottom of the crockpot.
Add pork roast, cloves and water.
Add the remaining sliced onions.
Cover and cook 8-10 hours on LOW.
Remove bone and fat from meat (it is very easy to do as it falls off).
Shred the meat and put it back in the crock pot.
Add the chopped onion and bottle of BBQ sauce.
Cook another 2-3 hours on LOW and stir occasionally.
Serve on large split buns ~ Makes a DELICIOUS homemade BBQ!
Crock-Pots are the best!
Slow Cooker Sausage & Tortellini Soup
* 1 lb sweet italian turkey sausage
* 1 9oz pkg frozen french green beans
* 1 28oz can tomatoes with basil garlic and oregano
* 1 large onion diced
* 2 T italian seasoning
* 1 10oz pkg frozen tortellini
Combine first 5 ingredients in a slow cooker and cook on low for 6 hours or on high for 2 hours. With 20 minutes remaining, add tortellini, 1 cup of water, stir, and continue cooking.
Serve immediately with crusty bread.
Oh you guys are seriously fantastic…I smell 40lbs of weight gain and a book deal. Don’t worry, you’ll get the credit for both. Keep them coming!!
It doesn’t get any better than this.
Crock Pot Roast
1 Pot Roast
1 bottle of Coke
1 pkg of lipton onion soup mix
Put all of them in the slow cooker for 8 hours on low. In the last two hours add whatever veggies you want. (carrots & red potatoes are a fav).
For the gravy (if you want it but the roast will be melt in your mouth tender), save about 2 cups of the coke mixture the roast cooked in. put it in a pot on the stove. Add flour & water to thicken.
bam!
Love crockpots!
Just dump some thawed boneless skinless chicken breasts, 1-2 cups of salsa (depending on how much chicken), and some canned (drained and rinsed) black beans. Cook on low for 6-8 hours. Shred the chicken, and serve with tortillas, and taco toppings (cheese, lettuce, tomatoes guac, sour cream, etc) with a salad on the side. Tada! My kids love it, and it’s easy to change around if you want. You can use pork instead, or different kinds of beans.
OK . . . this doesn’t totally qualify as “food” for a 200 lb man BUT it is tasty and could be the food you need if you are lacking in sleep or need some energy. I make this recipe in a crock pot. I blogged about it here: http://www.granolamom4god.com/2010/11/pumpkin-spiced-latte.html
but I will leave the recipe, too. You can omit the pumpkin and it pretty much tastes the same! And to be honest–I have drank this for my breakfast.
Pumpkin Spice Latte
* 2 cups milk
* 2 tbsp canned pumpkin (I often use fresh pumpkin)
* 2 tbsp cane sugar
* 2 tbsp vanilla
* 1/2 tsp pumpkin pie spice (or 1/4 tsp cinnamon, 1/8 tsp cloves, 1/8 tsp nutmeg, and a pinch of ginger)
* 1/2 cup brewed espresso or 3/4 cup strong brewed coffee
Cook all of the ingredients in a Crockpot for approximately 2 hours.
I also have a recipe for Chicken Stuffing that is killer. Let me know if that strikes your fancy!
This one is delicious and if you want to leave out the jalapeno you can!
Ingredients:
2 to 4 lb. pork shoulder roast
4 garlic cloves, peeled, each clove cut into 4 pieces
1 fresh jalapeno pepper
1 bunch fresh cilantro
1 can beer (12 ounces)
Corn tortillas
Cut several small slits into the roast. Insert pieces of garlic cloves in roast; place in crockpot with whole pepper and half bunch of cilantro which has been chopped. Season to taste. Pour in beer. Cook on HIGH 4 to 6 hours until fork tender (LOW 9 to 11 hours). Remove meat; shred. Serve with warm tortillas, with diced tomatoes, onions, sliced ripe olives, shredded lettuce, sour cream, cheese, salsa, guacamole, and cilantro.
Oh, Jay. Your ineptitude is a blessing to us all:) I’m loving these crock pot ideas!
Crockpot Chili
1 lb ground beef
1 medium onion, chopped
1 TBS chili powder
1 tsp ground cumin
1 can (15 oz) black beans, rinsed & drained
1 can (15 oz) kidney beans, rinsed & drained
1 can (15 oz) tomato sauce
1 can water
Brown ground beef. While beef is browning add rest of ingredients to crock pot. Add cooked beef and stir. Cook on low for 6 hours.
Frozen (yeah you heard me) chicken breasts.
Can of Cream of Chicken Soup.
turn on low. cook all day. add some rice about an hour before you eat.
MMMM tasty. And not at all healthy.
You can do the same thing with Salsa (make enchiladas) and BBQ sauce (BBQ chicken sandwich)…I think you get the idea. Basically MEAT + Liquid = sustenance.
I am totally excited about the sausage tortellini soup! So making that. Okay here are two super easy tasty dishes:
Crockpot Swiss Chicken
Super, super easy.
Skinless Chicken Breasts
Swiss Cheese slices
1 can (10 3/4oz) cream of Mushroom Soup
1/4 cup of milk
2 cups of herb stuffing (I bought the box stuff)
Lay skinless chicken breasts all over the bottom of the crockpot.
Layer the swiss cheese slices over the top. Mix the milk and soup in
a bowl and spoon over the top until it covers the cheese. Top with
the herb stuffing. I cooked on high for 4 1/2 hours.
Garlic Brown Sugar Chicken
>
>1 to 1-1/2 pounds chicken pieces
>1 cup packed brown sugar
>2/3 cup vinegar
>1/4 cup lemon-line soda (diet is fine)
>2-3 tablespoons minced garlic
>2 tablespoons soy sauce
>1 teaspoon pepper (regular black or cayenne)
>
>Place chicken in slow cooker. Mix all remaining ingredients. Pour over
>chicken. Cook on low for 6-8 hours.
>
>Serve over rice or noodles.
OK my favourite Crock pot recipe is actually stolen from Pioneer Woman…
3-5lb Beef Chuck Roast
1 jar Pepperoncini Peppers
1 can beef Broth
1 packet Italian Dressing Mix/ Italian Seasoning
1/2 Cup Water
Throw the beef, broth, dressing mix, and water into crock pot. Add about 14 Pepperoncinis and 1/2 the juice from the jar.
Set your crock pot to High/Med for 5-6 hrs and walk away. Return and pull apart the best Drip-Beef ever! Serve on crusty bread rolls with Provolone… sure to become a favourite! x A
I cook in a crock pot any chance I get. I love to cook but this last year has been crazy busy. Plus, the first 3 years of my marriage, we did not have an oven or stove (just moved into a house with an oven and stove!!!! 2-3 times a night I cook dinner for my husband’s band when they come over to practice so imagine cooking for a few guys with out an oven or stove! I had a little toaster oven and a tiny 2 burner portable range that took 30-45 minutes to boil water in! So I used and abused my crock pot and cooked most of our meals in it.
Nacho Chicken & Rice Wraps
2 cans of Cheddar Cheese Soup
1 Cup of High Quality H2O – or just plain water
2 cups of salsa or taco sauce (if you don’t like spicy, choose something very mild and you’ll be just fine. If you are still nervous about it, cut back to just 1 cup)
1 1/4 cup of uncooked rice (brown or white which ever you prefer but white will work out a little better)
2 pounds boneless skinless chicken breast cubed
10 flour tortillas (10 inch diameter)
Place all ingredients into the Crock pot EXCEPT the tortillas. Cook on low for 7-8 hrs or on High for 4-5 hours.
Spoon out onto tortillas and eat like a burrito when done
Enjoy
My husband loves this and now that I’ve passed the recipe on to you, I think I will make it myself sometime soon because it has been awhile!